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9 comments
Pehesse 28

Hello :-) I just stumbled here, and read the (already quite good) translation - if I may, could I suggest a few corrections here and there to help improve it all ?

Case 1 : Should be "I've just been informed", but you could improve further by putting "This just in :" in front of it (or instead), which is truer to the english idiomatic expression (though, okay, the presenter is french, so we could use "french english" as a stylistic choice here). Also, "the occupation troop's withdrawal" would be better I believe.

For the last sentence, I'm not sure, but I believe the expression is "we're coming live from", or "we're now coming live" or something akin to that.

Case 2 : "It has been two years now since France succumbed to the call [has given in to the siren song] of populism and extremism."
"This country that had always been a model and a political vanguard in Europe had decided to fall to insanity."[this sounds weird, you don't "decide" to become or fall insane - simply using "fallen" would probably be sharper here : "..had fallen to insanity" - but the original dialogue says "décider" as well, so, well, all right]

"When the "Front National" came to power, it was the whole European institution [organization] that was endangered..."
"...and that's without even considering the risk to see war erupt again on the old continent, which has suffered enough of those already."

Case 3
"That's why, with NATO's approval, we had to intervene with [the full might of] our military strength. France [unfortunately] had to defend itself, and even after its defeat, civilians were still under threat from bloodthirsty terrorists."

And lastly, very few things to change here :
"All of this cost a lot of human lives and logistics, to help settle a new government in a country where democracy seems to be ill ["diseased" would probably be stronger, but, eh].

.. I think that's about it. The addenda within brackets are suggestions to add flavor based on the original dialogue, or trying to mimic a more "classic" presidential speech.

I do hope this helps..

Pehesse 09/26/2011 14:57:46   
TroyB 41

Pehesse said:Hello :-) I just stumbled here, and read the (already quite good) translation - if I may, could I suggest a few corrections here and there to help improve it all ?

Case 1 : Should be "I've just been informed", but you could improve further by putting "This just in :" in front of it (or instead), which is truer to the english idiomatic expression (though, okay, the presenter is french, so we could use "french english" as a stylistic choice here). Also, "the occupation troop's withdrawal" would be better I believe.

For the last sentence, I'm not sure, but I believe the expression is "we're coming live from", or "we're now coming live" or something akin to that.

Case 2 : "It has been two years now since France succumbed to the call [has given in to the siren song] of populism and extremism."
"This country that had always been a model and a political vanguard in Europe had decided to fall to insanity."[this sounds weird, you don't "decide" to become or fall insane - simply using "fallen" would probably be sharper here : "..had fallen to insanity" - but the original dialogue says "décider" as well, so, well, all right]

"When the "Front National" came to power, it was the whole European institution [organization] that was endangered..."
"...and that's without even considering the risk to see war erupt again on the old continent, which has suffered enough of those already."

Case 3
"That's why, with NATO's approval, we had to intervene with [the full might of] our military strength. France [unfortunately] had to defend itself, and even after its defeat, civilians were still under threat from bloodthirsty terrorists."

And lastly, very few things to change here :
"All of this cost a lot of human lives and logistics, to help settle a new government in a country where democracy seems to be ill ["diseased" would probably be stronger, but, eh].

.. I think that's about it. The addenda within brackets are suggestions to add flavor based on the original dialogue, or trying to mimic a more "classic" presidential speech.

I do hope this helps..



Thanks for the feedback !!!
Have you tried the rating button ? And suggesting directly your version ?

TroyB 09/26/2011 15:04:49   
Pehesse 28

TroyB said:
Thanks for the feedback !!!
Have you tried the rating button ? And suggesting directly your version ?


No, I have to admit I didn't, sorry. I'm not sure what the rating button is, actually :-/ And about suggesting my version, well, it wouldn't be fair to studio.takoyaki's work, so I wasn't sure it was the right thing to do either. If they'd like, though, I'd be happy to talk to them about it and offer help, if they think they need it... Maybe I'll send them a PM about that.

Pehesse 09/26/2011 15:10:48   
TroyB 41

Pehesse said:TroyB said:
Thanks for the feedback !!!
Have you tried the rating button ? And suggesting directly your version ?


No, I have to admit I didn't, sorry. I'm not sure what the rating button is, actually :-/ And about suggesting my version, well, it wouldn't be fair to studio.takoyaki's work, so I wasn't sure it was the right thing to do either. If they'd like, though, I'd be happy to talk to them about it and offer help, if they think they need it... Maybe I'll send them a PM about that.


Ok i understand and appreciate how much you respect others work .
Though for these translations, we have a system where you can suggest your own translation > it's not over writing other translators work . But through a "voting" interface, it will allow readers to see many versions for the same page translated, and then choose the one that fits best.

As soon as many translators will participate to this experience, we will see beautiful improvements in the translations quality .

You and I have a perfect (I hope ^^) understanding of the french language subtelties. Though not being natives, our understanding of english will always remain limited.

So native english speakers will help us improving our french to english translations . But if they don't speak french, they will need our help there to "make the bridge" between our languages .


... yesterday I had a birthday party, and I was in the middle of english teachers making complex jokes about english litterature and english taught by english VS english taught by americans... was a bit crazy .

TroyB 09/26/2011 15:56:53   
Pehesse 28

TroyB said:
Ok i understand and appreciate how much you respect others work .
Though for these translations, we have a system where you can suggest your own translation > it's not over writing other translators work . But through a "voting" interface, it will allow readers to see many versions for the same page translated, and then choose the one that fits best.

As soon as many translators will participate to this experience, we will see beautiful improvements in the translations quality .

You and I have a perfect (I hope ^^) understanding of the french language subtelties. Though not being natives, our understanding of english will always remain limited.

So native english speakers will help us improving our french to english translations . But if they don't speak french, they will need our help there to "make the bridge" between our languages .


... yesterday I had a birthday party, and I was in the middle of english teachers making complex jokes about english litterature and english taught by english VS english taught by americans... was a bit crazy .


Hee hee, I can imagine :-) Thanks for the explanations about the rating system for the translations, I'll give it a whirl then, we'll see where it goes from here.

Pehesse 09/26/2011 16:44:23   
studio.takoyaki 32
Team

Pehesse said:TroyB said:
Thanks for the feedback !!!
Have you tried the rating button ? And suggesting directly your version ?


No, I have to admit I didn't, sorry. I'm not sure what the rating button is, actually :-/ And about suggesting my version, well, it wouldn't be fair to studio.takoyaki's work, so I wasn't sure it was the right thing to do either. If they'd like, though, I'd be happy to talk to them about it and offer help, if they think they need it... Maybe I'll send them a PM about that.

Don't worry about that. If something I done some mistakes, please correct them. You can think that my translation is a draft for people that are better than me.

I just wanted english community could have access to our comics, if you have a better version, correct me, i won't be insulted.

studio.takoyaki 09/26/2011 16:22:40   
Pehesse 28

studio.takoyaki said:
Don't worry about that. If something I done some mistakes, please correct them. You can think that my translation is a draft for people that are better than me.

I just wanted english community could have access to our comics, if you have a better version, correct me, i won't be insulted.


I would never say you made mistakes :-) The only ones who don't are those who don't do anything. I'm only hoping to help improve the translation according to what I believe is right - but somebody out there will have another idea or a better eye/knowledge, so this is why I'm taking... precautions. But until that person comes along, let's work together to put forward translations that reflect the greatness of the comics :-) I'll try to use the system TroyB showed above. I definitely appreciate the time you took to translate already, and if you wish to discuss further translations, or debate the use of certain terms, by all means, do PM me :-)

Pehesse 09/26/2011 16:50:27   
studio.takoyaki 32
Team

Pehesse said:studio.takoyaki said:
Don't worry about that. If something I done some mistakes, please correct them. You can think that my translation is a draft for people that are better than me.

I just wanted english community could have access to our comics, if you have a better version, correct me, i won't be insulted.


I would never say you made mistakes :-) The only ones who don't are those who don't do anything. I'm only hoping to help improve the translation according to what I believe is right - but somebody out there will have another idea or a better eye/knowledge, so this is why I'm taking... precautions. But until that person comes along, let's work together to put forward translations that reflect the greatness of the comics :-) I'll try to use the system TroyB showed above. I definitely appreciate the time you took to translate already, and if you wish to discuss further translations, or debate the use of certain terms, by all means, do PM me :-)


I'm not good enough to have some debate xD.
I've learned english by myself so I don't know all the subtleties of this language . =p

studio.takoyaki 09/26/2011 17:04:36   
Pehesse 28

said:
I'm not good enough to have some debate xD.
I've learned english by myself so I don't know all the subtleties of this language . =p


You say that as if I did :-p There's still enough Frenchie floating around my writing not to fool a true Englishman :-p

Anyway, thanks for the time you take to reply and translate.
I'm currently going over the later pages of this comic using the translation tool, but I'm not really sure it's having any kind of effect - I tried reloading the page, but the translation doesn't show up. Is it due to the rating system TroyB mentioned earlier ? Do you know where can I choose to show the different versions of a translation, so I can determine if what I write really is any better, or if I should reword/write things differently to fit the space allowed, and that sort of thing ?

Pehesse 09/26/2011 17:12:37   
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