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Loving yourself is a process. There is a great deal of pressure to look, act, and be a certain way to be accepted into society, but here’s the secret- society doesn’t get to decide what you should be like. YOU DO!

First off, the only person who gets to define if you are beautiful or not is you. I’ll say that again. YOU. Are. the only person, EVER. That gets to have the last word on if you are beautiful.

• Society does not decide that you are beautiful or not
• Society does not define how much you should weigh
• Society does not choose your clothing or your makeup styles
• Society does not dictate what is acceptable

This is something you need to learn that will make your journey to self love a million times easier. It’s hard to love yourself when you’re looking at a Victoria’s Secret model and thinking that the only way to be pretty is to look like that. I’m not ever going to look like that, and neither are you, and that’s okay! Throw away society’s standards. Society says that you need to have long, flowing hair, a thin, toned, body, long legs, perky breasts, and a tiny, round booty. We learn that stretch marks, freckles, cellulite, and imperfections don’t exist. It’s all a lie. That’s photoshop. And since we can’t photoshop ourselves, there are ways that we can love ourselves the way we are. 

1. Wear clothes that make you feel happy and comfortable. Don’t try to force yourself into an outfit that is considered “fashionable” for the sake of society. If you don’t like it, don’t wear it. 

2. Spend some time with your flaws. Stretch marks, cellulite and scars are only scary if you refuse to face them. Touch your stretch marks. Play with your fat. Get to know your body. The more you’re used to it, the more comfortable it will be. If you treat your imperfections like they’re something to be ashamed of, it encourages others to do the same. EVERYONE HAS FLAWS. Own them!

3. “Change what you cannot accept, and accept what you cannot change.” If you are uncomfortable with your weight or your body, you can change certain aspects to make yourself more comfortable, whether that be gain muscle, lose fat,or to tone what you’ve got. These things won’t automatically create self-love, but it can make it easier if you aren’t happy with the body you have now. We are not all destined to be model-tall or have large breasts. Always change to be the best YOU that you can be. When you work for what you want, you gain confidence, but only if you do it for the right reasons. If you lose weight to match society’s standard, chances are you’ll always be disappointed. Find YOUR best body whether that be fat, skinny, athletic, WHATEVER. For the things you can’t change, accept that it’s natural and a part of you, and you are awesome. Whatever the case may be, sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself is NOT an option.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others. You aren’t them, and you aren’t going to be. Comparing yourself only leads to negative thinking and sometimes jealousy. Working to be like someone else is not loving yourself at all. They have their own insecurities, too. Focus on your own goals.

5. Do not accept other people’s negativity. It is not someone else’s decision to call you ugly, fat, or inadequate. Someone who would dare call you names and try to bring you down feels inadequate themselves. Stand up to bullies, and tell them that YOU decide. Give yourself a sense of empowerment and really believe in it. Owning your power to determine what is beauty to YOU gives you the control. Once you truly believe that, what anyone else says doesn’t matter.

6. Think positive! For every negative thought you think about yourself, replace it with a positive. Make a list of things you love about your personality and your body. If you THINK positive, it’s more likely you’ll BE positive. Get in the habit of being kind to yourself. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, you shouldn’t say it about yourself either. Pay attention to the way you talk about yourself— it matters. 

7. BE YOURSELF. You will never learn to love who you are if you’re always trying to be someone else. If you accept yourself, you won’t feel like you need others to accept you. The good news is that if you’re happy, confident and fabulous, other people will see you that way too! If someone doesn’t like you for you, their opinion doesn’t matter in the first place. 

Loving your body and yourself is a process, and it takes time. Take it slow and try your best to see the best in yourself. You decide if you are beautiful or not. Period.